Infinity in Lockdown
Last Updated on: February 8, 2026
During the Covid lockdowns I had a feeling of time standing still.
My life is busy and changing. I often have a desire to “catch up” on things. When the world stopped in 2020 and I finally made it home, I suddenly felt a relief. There I was, forced to stay still, in one place, and with an unknown stretch of time ahead.
That infinity felt powerful and relieving. I was excited to learn piano, focus on my business without distraction, work hard on my fitness, play those unopened video games, and simply catch my breath with nowhere to be.
On one cold night after midnight, I wrapped up and walked to the local park. It was deeply dark and I wanted to look at the stars. Quite often I want to look at the stars but in those times I felt like I could, and infinity was there in the endless black of the sky.
I guess I’m not supposed to say this, but I miss those days. I miss how everything stopped and possibilities opened up. It was exciting and it was spacious and it was unending.
But there was another side to it… I kept leaving things until tomorrow because it felt like I had all the time in the world. Tomorrow kept becoming tomorrow. In the end, I didn’t learn the piano (but I did play a lot of video games).
Today I know that the pressure of time has its benefits. I act quicker, I do what gets me towards my goals and, at the end of the day, I sometimes feel productive.
Yes, I still chase that feeling of infinity. Sometimes I find it when the stars align and I get lost in a deep focus. In those moments everything has meaning because there is no beginning or end.
And maybe that is why I still think about those days. Because, for a brief time, life did feel like it would go on forever.
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